On Vulnerability

Being vulnerable is terrifying and exhausting but it is also healing.

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I like to keep to myself. I know this blog belies that fact, but this whole sharing my business with the world thing is not normal for me. I’d much rather be sleeping.

But it has been an interesting experience sharing my deepest darkest secrets with my close friends and family and complete strangers. Here are some things I have learned:

  1. Being vulnerable is terrifying and exhausting but it is also healing. I really struggled with what to name this blog because I wanted it to be a call to action. Light the darkness is about truth and honesty. It’s about throwing open the shutters and airing out that musty smell. Darkness thrives on secrecy. And as terrifying as honesty and openness are for me, I needed to throw open the shutters and let in the light, because light is a great antiseptic (also throwing open the shudders means I don’t have to go outside).
  1. People do care and they want to help. Sometimes it feels like there is this great divide between us and everyone else: This impenetrable chasm that separates us from one another. That is an illusion. There is so much that unites us as humans. Everyone knows pain and sorrow. Everyone knows struggle and sadness. The challenges may be different, but the human experience is not really unique to any of us. And because we all live this shared experience, if we are willing we can allow our personal trials to drive us to empathy for one another. We are so much more alike than we think.
  1. Sharing teaches me about myself. In the process of having to share these experiences, instead of shoving them down into the dark nether regions of my mind and burying them under my large pile of broken dreams, I have learned how to find the good. I have spent a lot of time being angry about my trials: angry with myself and angry with God and it just doesn’t fix things. And as painful as this whole “sharing my feelings” thing is, it forces me to find the light in the darkness of my trials and when there is no light to be found, it forces me to make some light in my darkness.
  1. (Almost) Everyone else is struggling. Comparison is poison. It hurts everyone involved. But processing my problems and being open about them has helped me to place them in their proper perspective. They are not that big a deal in the grand scheme. Are they hard? Yes. Do they make life difficult? Yes. But other people are struggling too. I don’t need to compare my problems with theirs and assign them each a weighted average. I can just accept both as facts. I am struggling. Others are struggling. Period. The nice thing is when I can use my struggling to help other people with their struggling.
  1. I’m made of stronger stuff than I thought. I’m just gonna leave that there . . .

Light the Darkness,

Dana Nevels

 

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